1. We don’t have a big budget.
As a start-up, of sorts, we can’t compete with the other guys. In this lane, we do not have much to offer you in terms of smoke machines, $100,000 sound equipment, moving lights, or even comfortable chairs. But we do have pop-up banners. And they’re sick!
2. We don’t have stuff for your kids.
Again, our bandwidth is small right now. We don’t have Awanas (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it) on Sundays, and we don’t yet have a sweet kid’s program at our gatherings. But we do give your kids goldfish every week.
3. We don’t have potential people for you to date.
Because we’re small, you won’t find what you’re looking for here, so don’t bother. And even if we were big, I’d probably kick you out if this were you’re main motive. Only kidding… sort of. You’d have better luck on Christian Mingle, bro.
4. We don’t have the best speakers and musicians.
No competition here. All of our speakers and musicians are C+ at best. If you’re looking for Hillsong United talent, please do not come to our church plant. You will be highly disappointed, because unfortunately, we do not have Australian accents.
5. We talk about money sometimes.
Yes, I know. Can you believe it? I can’t either.
But if none of that stuff matters to you, let’s go!